How To Steal A Condo

Bud Brown and John Brown were at their friend's swimming pool enjoying themselves.

Bud says, "John, did you hear about my condo assessment coming up?"

"No," John replied, "What's up?"

"I might be assessed for thousands of dollars since the Board has various repairs to do, and the possibility of building a golf course on our vacant land."

"What, and you don't even play the game!"

"Well, that's what I heard. I think I'll have to investigate this rumor more now."


"Brown and Brown...Yes, they are here," said the receptionist, "Which one do you want? John is the President, but he's on the phone and I don't know when he will be finished. Give me your name and number and I'll have him call you back....Yes...Mr. Oscula, of the Cortega Tribe of American Indians. I’ve got it. Where can you be reached, Sir Chief?"...That's an easy number to remember, 456-789-0000....I'll leave him your message."

She wrote everything she had been told on a message pad, and put a slip in John Brown's box. Later John Brown came out to her and said, "Put Chief Oscula on the appointment book for next week, on Tuesday, 10 a.m."


As Chief Oscula walked into John Brown's suite for his appointment, he was followed by two other men whom he introduced as his executives. 

After they sat down, Mr. Brown said, "Glad to meet you Chief. I am well aware of your tribe since I have been living near your casino for many years. What can I do for you?"

The Chief stood up, and started to speak.

"A few years ago our tribe's casino/hotel wanted to expand but we had a hard time getting good help because while we paid them well, their living costs in this area were very high. We then solved the housing problem by offering new employees nearby condo residences we owned and charged rents well below the going marketplace. For ten years that approach worked. Eventually we ran out of nearby homes which were located within this 500-unit condo association.

"At the same time, we wanted to construct a golf course on that property which would entice more out-of-town guests interested in the sport to our hotel/casino, and would offer lower golf fees than those available in the surrounding areas. We knew that we would have to own a majority of the condos at the property to control the voting for any new construction like a golf course there, but there was a clause in their bylaws that said an owner could own only five units at a time.  This problem was easily solved by forming 51 different corporations, with different Indian owners which allowed us to own the majority to solve not only the shortage of home, but the ability to control the construction of a golf course on the vacant land. We did this by offering homeowners in the condo a price far above what was being offered previously. 

"In addition to this plan, we started a rumor that a golf course was going to be built and that we would make some high assessments to the condo owners that would cover the cost of building such an endeavor. That worked, and we achieved the 251 ownership votes to do exactly that over a one year span."

The Chief stopped talking, took a drink of water from a glass filled that was on John Brown's desk, and continued.

"We are here today, Mr. Brown, since your company represents many condominiums and have a hand in development work. We wanted to learn if there are any new laws which would prevent us from doing what we have done already and what we planned in the future, and if our Board of Directors we now control has exceeded its authority? From our investigations we believe we have not violated any laws."

"Off the top of my head," John Brown responded, "I don't believe your plan violates any laws currently on the books. I'll do some checking, but I believe you have not violated any laws."


Later in the year, the Brown brothers were at a wedding celebration and were having a great time. They started talking about business when John said to Bud, "What's new?"

"Remember that story I told you last year about the rumors I heard about my condo? Well, I've just been assessed $100,000 to cover some repairs, as well as constructing a golf course on our vacant land. So I guess the rumors were true. I'll probably sell my condo since there is a company offering rather nice prices for our condo units, and a chance to get out from paying that assessment."

Oh, Bud," John exclaimed. "They were my clients and I couldn't tell you anything about what they were doing because of the 'client-lawyer relationship' which forbids me to disclose such information. Sorry, but I'm sure you'll find another place to live...but don't forget to investigate thoroughly before you buy!"



Profile of the Average Assisted Living Resident...An 87-year-old woman who remains for an average of 22 months; net worth for folks over 75+ is $155,714. Occupancy is unchanged in senior housing at 89% for the 75+ past three years. Inventory has outpaced absorption. Over time, AARP has predicted the care gap will widen as the boomer population ages into their 80s, + more—   of 8.30.16.


SENIOR ONE-LINE HUMOR: I'm positive I did housework correctly before the Internet.

Bernie is a real person who resides in one of our Brookdale communities. Many of the stories he has written are based on factual evidence from newspaper stories and other sources available to the public.  He uses his imagination in parts to help supply the “twist” at the end.  The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Brookdale Senior Living.


Leave a Comment

You May Also Like

Lorraine is Back

Virginia Wylie November 21, 2017

Ninety-five years ago, an unusual event occurred.  In a small farmhouse on Long Island, NY, twins were born, a girl and a boy. The boy, a gentleman then and always, ... Read more

South for the Winter

Virginia Wylie October 25, 2017

When it rains I won’t complain The sun shines? That’s mighty fine Warm or hot I like a lot Here no snow blows No more ice, that’s nice No more ... Read more