One Upping

This was the first but not the last time I've been involved in medical one-up-manship.

 

I bobbed along in a warm-water pool

Deposited there by a handy chairlift

With four others in an exercise group

We wore shorts and tees, strictly makeshift

Nary a bikini in sight in this fine troop

It was time for us to go back to school.

 

Asked our teacher, “Do you want to be fit?”

We were way out of shape, we had to admit

In fact, the word for us was decrepit!

 

We stood in water up to our chest

In a circle holding hands, we gazed

“Tell me what bothers each of you most:”

“Hip replacement,” said the first

“Two hip replacements,” said the second

“Two hips and a knee,” and the third

“Two hips, two knees, and a shoulder,” said the fourth.”

The teacher shook her head sadly, amazed

“What you told me sounds more like a boast”

She looked at me.  “Can you one up the rest?”

 

“After those awful tales of woe

I’ll only say I stumped my toe.”

The teacher smiled.  “Then let’s get on with the show!”

 

Virginia L. Wylie

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Virginia resides in Brookdale Orange City, Florida and is the author of the poetry that appears here. The views and opinions expressed in this poetry are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Brookdale Senior Living.

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