This was the first but not the last time I've been involved in medical one-up-manship.
I bobbed along in a warm-water pool
Deposited there by a handy chairlift
With four others in an exercise group
We wore shorts and tees, strictly makeshift
Nary a bikini in sight in this fine troop
It was time for us to go back to school.
Asked our teacher, “Do you want to be fit?”
We were way out of shape, we had to admit
In fact, the word for us was decrepit!
We stood in water up to our chest
In a circle holding hands, we gazed
“Tell me what bothers each of you most:”
“Hip replacement,” said the first
“Two hip replacements,” said the second
“Two hips and a knee,” and the third
“Two hips, two knees, and a shoulder,” said the fourth.”
The teacher shook her head sadly, amazed
“What you told me sounds more like a boast”
She looked at me. “Can you one up the rest?”
“After those awful tales of woe
I’ll only say I stumped my toe.”
The teacher smiled. “Then let’s get on with the show!”
Virginia L. Wylie