Actually, I don’t feel like doing anything right now. Is that all right? All of my life I have been convinced that productivity is the measure of a person. How many acres have you plowed? How many dresses have you sewn? How many documents have you typed? How many buildings have you built? How many lines of code have you written? How many people have you helped? If we do not use productivity as a measure, then acquisitions will suffice. How much money, grandchildren, homes, jewelry, books, and friends do you have?
I’ve become aware that I have little interest in acquiring new things – fresh fruit and new underwear are OK – but I don’t want things that I really don’t need. The other day, we were walking through a new addition to a huge shopping mall. Jimmy Choo, Hermes, etc. were among the esteemed vendor names along the sparkling corridors. The merchandise was amusing to see, but I had no desire to own any of it. My mall motto is, “If I’m not going to spend money, then I only look at the very best”.
I feel the same way about traveling. I’ve been there. I don’t have to go again. The pictures bring sufficient contentment.
Sometimes I feel vaguely guilty about my lack of ambition. After all, if my children were talking about not wanting to do anything, I would be worried. I have no such worries however. Just listening to their activities and plans is exhausting. I was just talking to my son-in-law (he called to say thank you for his birthday present), who delayed one of his frequent business trips to China for 24 hours so he could spend the day with his family and wash his new shirts. It was an interesting conversation about politics (we agree) and scientific possibilities (we love to dream).
Perhaps I’m being too hard on myself. Viewing old pictures, phone conversations, lunch with friends, mall walks, dreaming, movies, and reading should be acceptable in my pantheon of activities.
At lunch with a friend yesterday, we commiserated over our mutual lack of ambition. We did agree that we want to, want to.
Oh! Wait a minute! I did cut my husband’s hair this morning. Does that count?