Celebrating Valentine’s Day as a Caregiver

About Tori Thurmond

Tori Thurmond combines her creative writing background with her marketing experience in her role as the Content Specialist at Brookdale. When she's not writing, she's probably spending time with her two cats or knitting.

a man and a woman making a heart with their hands

If you’re caring for a romantic partner, sometimes the role of caregiver overrides the romance. You get caught up in the daily tasks of providing care for your partner and feel like there’s no time to enjoy the little things about each other anymore. Here are a few ideas to help bring back the butterflies this Valentine’s Day.

Recreate Your First Date

A great way to keep the flame alive is by revisiting the moment when it all started. Replicating your first date exactly may not be feasible with your partner, whether you’ve moved locations since your relationship started or you’re not able to get out as a couple like you once were. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t recreate some of the magic. Did you go to dinner and a movie for your first date? Use a delivery app like DoorDash or Uber Eats to order takeout from your favorite restaurant and stream the movie you saw together from your couch. Maybe you went for a walk in the park and had a picnic lunch? Take a short walk around your neighborhood and set up a picnic spread in your living room.

It’s ok if things don’t look exactly the same as they once did. The important thing is that you’re spending time with your partner, reminiscing on the things that started it all while making new romantic memories.

Continue to Do Your Favorite Activities

Just because roles have shifted doesn’t mean you have to stop doing all of your favorite activities you like to do together. If you can’t participate in all of your favorite activities in the same ways that you used to, think of aspects of those activities you’re both still able to participate in. If you’re a couple that loves going to concerts, stream your favorite group’s music at home and slow dance around the living room. If you like to go on walks together, continue to do so. You may need to shorten your walks some or find a route with more places to stop and rest, but you’ll still be enjoying one another’s company. If you enjoy eating homemade meals together, but you don’t have the time to care for your loved one and cook a big meal, see if a friend or family member can use one of your favorite recipes to make a meal you can sit down and enjoy with your partner. Although relationship responsibilities and dynamics shift over time, it’s important to make time to do the things you love with the person you love when you can.

Maintain Communication

When seeking advice on how to maintain good relationships, you’ll often hear the phrase, “communication is key.” While those words may feel overused at times, the sentiment is true. Healthy relationships revolve around being open and honest with your partner. This remains true when caregiving is a part of the relationship. It’s important that both the person giving care and the person receiving care feel like they can voice their thoughts and concerns about the relationship. Maybe this just means checking in with one another on an emotional level several times a week or maybe you could consider working with a couples therapist. Talking about your feelings can be challenging, so bringing in a professional to help facilitate those conversations could be beneficial in maintaining and strengthening your romantic connection with your partner, even as roles evolve over time.

Keep in mind, your relationship doesn’t have to be falling apart to start couples counseling. Seeking out a couples therapist can be a great way to get ahead of future relationship roadblocks or just strengthen an already wonderful relationship. Adding caregiving responsibilities on top of being a loving partner can be tricky, so don’t feel like you have to go through that transition alone.

Maintain Intimacy

An important part of romantic relationships is intimacy, both emotional and physical. However, different types of intimacy look different for different couples, and that intimacy may change over time. Better Health defines intimacy simply as “a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported.” Work to maintain emotional intimacy by continuing to communicate with your partner. Tell them what you love and appreciate about them, let them know how much they mean to you and tell them often. On good days, maintain physical intimacy when you’re able. Physical intimacy can be as simple as holding your partner’s hand while you sit and watch TV or staying in bed a little longer to cuddle. Maintaining intimacy with your partner can help bring back or strengthen your romantic connection with your partner as you work to balance a new or evolving caregiving dynamic.

For more caregiving blogs like this one, take a look at “4 Caregiver Resolutions That will Take You 15 Minutes or Less a Day,” “Dealing With Aging Parents: How to be an Advocate” and “When Caregiving Becomes Overwhelming.”