Where to Begin

Helping the Conversation Go Smoothly

Open communication is important, and it’s especially crucial when it comes to discussing senior living. Having a discussion with your loved ones that gives everyone a chance to express themselves without losing sight of your own priorities can be difficult.

Even so, sitting down and having a thoughtful conversation with your family is so valuable. Here are a few thoughts on how to make that successful.

Can Brookdale Help Me Feel Better About My Decision?

A decision rooted in love

By choosing Brookdale, your loved one can have a life filled with comfort, engagement and dignity. That’s keeping the promise in a way that honors their needs and your life in a thoughtful way.

Support for you, too

Care decisions are important and meaningful. Lean on friends, family or caregiver support groups to share your thoughts and hear from others who have been in your shoes.

At Brookdale, our team is here for you, offering guidance and a listening ear when you need it.

Can Brookdale Help Me Feel Better About My Decision?

A decision rooted in love

By choosing Brookdale, your loved one can have a life filled with comfort, engagement and dignity. That’s keeping the promise in a way that honors their needs and your life in a thoughtful way.

Support for you, too

Care decisions are important and meaningful. Lean on friends, family or caregiver support groups to share your thoughts and hear from others who have been in your shoes.

At Brookdale, our team is here for you, offering guidance and a listening ear when you need it.

Make a point to listen.
One of the best things you can do during this conversation is to actively listen. Once you’ve finished sharing your thoughts, give the other person space to respond or ask questions. As they talk, avoid the temptation to interrupt. Even if they disagree or see things differently, listening shows respect, and that is crucial.

How Do I Bring Up Senior Living Without Upsetting My Parents?

Starting a conversation about senior living with your parents is an important step. You and your parents will come to the conversation with different goals and feelings—still, you all want a comfortable, happy future for your family.

The goal is to make this a warm, open and inviting conversation—one that helps everyone feel included.

With a little planning and the right tone, this conversation can be uplifting and full of connection. Here’s some tips for easing into things compassionately:

Replace conclusion with curiosity

Instead of leading with a decision, try beginning with a question. This helps your parents feel included, rather than instructed.

You might ask:

“What would life look like if you had a little extra help?”
“Have you thought about where you’d like to live in the future?”
“Would you like more time to focus on your hobbies or spend time with others?”

These kinds of questions open a door, allowing everyone involved to feel heard.

How Do I Bring Up Senior Living Without Upsetting My Parents?

The goal is to make this a warm, open and inviting conversation—one that helps everyone feel included.

With a little planning and the right tone, this conversation can be uplifting and full of connection. Here’s some tips for easing into things compassionately:

Replace conclusion with curiosity

Instead of leading with a decision, try beginning with a question. This helps your parents feel included, rather than instructed.

You might ask:

“What would life look like if you had a little extra help?”
“Have you thought about where you’d like to live in the future?”
“Would you like more time to focus on your hobbies or spend time with others?”

These kinds of questions open a door, allowing everyone involved to feel heard.

Father and son looking at brookdale folder

Make a plan.
If you’re the child talking to your aging parent, you should go into the conversation knowing you will most likely end up having this discussion multiple times before arriving at a decision. But that doesn’t mean you should leave the conversation open-ended without creating some kind of action plan.

A few examples of action items include scheduling a follow-up conversation with your parent after they’ve had some time to think about moving, visiting a few local communities in the area together so your mom or dad can see what community life is like, or looping in another trusted family member or friend who can provide another perspective to the situation.

If you’re a parent talking to your child, you probably want to give your loved ones a chance to process what you’ve told them. But that doesn’t mean you should press pause on your plans to move forward.

You can be kind and understanding if your kids aren’t convinced that you should move while also letting them know that you are going to move forward with your decision. Let them know what the next steps look like and how you plan to go about making the transition. Depending on their reactions, you may even want to ask for their advice and involvement along the way.

What If My Parents are Hesitant to Talk About Their Future?

Make the first step feel like an outing instead of a decision

If you visit a Brookdale community, make it feel like a casual experience. Go for coffee in the café or attend a music event or open house. Let them soak in the atmosphere without needing to talk about anything serious.

They may start to see what life could look like—on their terms.

You can even bring a friend or sibling along to make it more social. Having someone they trust can help lighten the mood and take pressure off the situation.

Keep their voices in the process

This is a series of small steps and many important conversations. The more they feel heard, the more they may be willing to explore new options.

Give them time to process, let them ask questions and then offer to help find answers—together.

By keeping things light and listening with intention, you can create a partnership. Partnerships help grow progress.

Celebrate little wins

If they agree to tour a community, try going out for lunch afterward to reflect. If they say they are thinking about it, celebrate that openness. If they join a virtual event or flips through a brochure with you, let them know how meaningful that is.

Every step matters. This can be a shared journey instead of a solo decision.

What If My Parents are Hesitant to Talk About Their Future?

Make the first step feel like an outing instead of a decision

They may start to see what life could look like—on their terms.

You can even bring a friend or sibling along to make it more social. Having someone they trust can help lighten the mood and take pressure off the situation.

Keep their voices in the process

This is a series of small steps and many important conversations. The more they feel heard, the more they may be willing to explore new options.

Give them time to process, let them ask questions and then offer to help find answers—together.

By keeping things light and listening with intention, you can create a partnership. Partnerships help grow progress.

Celebrate little wins

Every step matters. This can be a shared journey instead of a solo decision.

See our communities and get pricing

Fill out the form to unlock pricing for our senior living communities. Then, you can head to a community page to learn more.

First Name*

Last Name*

Email Address*

Phone*

Please enter a city or zip code.

I would like to receive text messages (such as visit reminders) from Brookdale

* Required Fields

By opting in, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing text messages (such as visit reminders & promotions) from Brookdale at the number you've provided. Terms and Privacy: brookdale.com/texting. We value your privacy. By clicking, you agree to the terms and conditions of our privacy policy and agree to be called, in response to your inquiry, by a Senior Living Advisior using our automated telephone dialing system.

Lead with your observations and concerns.
No matter which side of the conversation you’re on, it’s important to lead with your observations and concerns from a place of love and understanding. Don’t charge through with accusations or fear: address your family member with the reasons why you think it might be time to consider senior living.

For parents speaking to their children, this might look like sharing some of the concerns you have about living on your own in the coming years. Perhaps you are more worried about falling, maintaining the house or addressing your increasing healthcare needs.

For children talking to their parents, it’s important to emphasize how much you love them and want them to be as happy and healthy as possible. You can share some examples of situations that have led you to the conclusion that it might be time for them to transition to community life.

Chat Now