Three Signs Your Parents' Health Might Be Failing

About Kim Elliott

Senior Vice President and Chief Nursing Officer

Kim Elliott joined Brookdale in July 2014 and has served as our Senior Vice President and Chief Nursing Officer since August 2021. She previously served as our Senior Vice President of Clinical Services from July 2014 until August 2021. Elliott has more than 27 years of experience in senior living and has developed a care philosophy based on the importance of individualized care, personal choice and resident independence. Before joining Brookdale, Ms. Elliott served as Senior Vice President of Clinical Quality and Compliance for Centerre Healthcare Corporation and Director of Compliance and Risk Management for Kindred Healthcare. Ms. Elliott received a BSN in nursing from the University of Kentucky and a Master's degree in nursing with a nursing executive specialty from Chamberlain University. She serves on the Argentum Clinical Quality Executive Roundtable, on the Dean’s Advisory Board for the Central Florida University School of Nursing, as a member of the Nightingale Society, and as a member of the 2022 Nashville Healthcare Council Fellows cohort.

brookdale associate and resident looking in mirror

One of the most stressful events a long-distance caregiver can experience is coming home for the holidays and realizing that things simply are not right with Mom and Dad. I’ve talked to countless adult children who have seen a parent fall while visiting and discovered it wasn’t for the first time or noticed confusion during routine activities as simple as making breakfast.

Although it’s not unusual for elderly parents to mask their unmanageability on a weekly phone call, it’s harder to hide face to face. This year when you’re home for the holidays, look out for changes that might suggest your parents are struggling on their own.

Physical Changes

Physical appearance can speak volumes. Do you notice changes in hygiene, like body odor, crumpled or stained clothing, or stubble on a father who has always been clean-shaven? It’s also important to look for signs of weight loss or gain as well as hints that their physical or medical condition is changing. A limp, a pained expression, or even mood changes can be indications of a new or advancing health condition.

Cognitive Difficulties

Some memory loss is natural as we age – things like momentarily forgetting where the keys are or taking a few seconds to search for a word. This is different than Alzheimer’s or other dementias, which are diseases of the brain. Indications that a parent may be developing the condition go beyond simple memory deficit and can include symptoms such as:

Challenges planning activities or solving problems
Getting lost when driving to a familiar place
Becoming disoriented and forgetting what to buy in stores
Misplacing items
Forgetting to buy gifts
Regularly missing appointments
Forgetting to take medication
Leaving piles of mail scattered in various places
Not opening bills or letters from banks, creditors or insurers referring to overdue payments, overdrawn balances
Forgetting to turn off the stove or oven – signs can be burnt knobs or pots

Habit Changes

A change in your parents’ habits may also be a sign of developing dementia. Perhaps they have always kept their home very tidy and it is now noticeably unclean. Maybe they have stopped getting together with friends or are skipping their usual routines of exercise, church or volunteering. These can also be indications of possible dementia and should be explored.

What to Do

If you are concerned your parent may be developing dementia, schedule a visit with their doctor, who can evaluate what might be causing the symptoms and discuss next steps. While the diagnosis of this disease is understandably feared, early detection is very important so that you, your parent and your entire family can plan, manage and with the right support and resources, make the most of this time of life.