How to Start Writing a Memoir

Write down your thoughts and feelings about your initial inspiration.

The most important thing is to ask yourself why you’re doing it. Who are you doing it for? How would they benefit from reading and learning about your story? “I’d recommend sitting down and writing all of that on a piece of paper or as if you’re writing in a journal,” explains Jodie King, author of the upcoming memoir Messy. This way, she says, you can always go back and reflect on that initial spark that got you started. It’s important to be honest with yourself, dig deep, and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. “This is your story,” says King. “Own it.” This first step can also serve as a motivational piece to oneself as you commit to the project and fully embrace your story and why you believe it needs to be shared. 

Nail down what is your story about

Once you’re committed to writing your memoir, start clearing up the details of your idea in your head. Think about what the book is going to be about. “This can be challenging – we all share a lifetime of memories so essentially anything and everything can be on it,” says King. To get this part done, she recommends figuring out what angle is aligned with you while at the same time having it resonate with the reader is crucial. “Now, this doesn't mean it can't change in the course of writing, but this is an important step to get started,” King adds.

Ask yourself: “Do I have enough to write about?”

Once the first two steps are nailed down, sit down, and start outlining your chapters. King suggests beginning by laying them out in a bullet point format. “Draft them as if they were the headlines of your chapters,” she says. “If you are able to write 30 chapters, then it means you’ve got enough content for the memoir.” The next step is to give yourself a goal of when you want to finish writing your book by. If you have 30 chapters, for instance, you can aim to do one per week and finish in 30 week’s time.

Block out time to write.

Accountability, says King, is key: “I wish I could tell you that writing a memoir is easy-breezy, like a journal entry for example but it’s not.” She notes that all authors go through a lot of ups and downs in the writing process and staying on top of your writing schedule and blocking that time in your calendar to write is often crucial to get the task done. “Some days are going to be more productive than others – and that’s okay,” she says. Just getting some words on paper every day is better than nothing!

Write what you feel like when you feel like it.

King says to try not to put pressure on yourself to write your memoir in chronological order as you may stall. Try asking yourself, ”What do I feel like writing about today?" or "What can I handle today?" This, says King, is especially important if your book includes trauma or other vulnerable parts and memories of one's life that are not always easy to talk about. “Writing my memoir brought to the surface years of hidden pain,” she reveals. “I couldn’t always talk about them, gosh, I could even barely think about them, so giving myself the flexibility to write about a particular time frame of my story that doesn’t necessarily follow the order of events really empowered my creative process.”

Hire an editor or have someone give you feedback on your work.

If you’re looking to have the book published, you may want to hire an editor to help you make sure your book is fine-tuned. If you’re writing it for fun, ask a friend or family member to read through it for you. You can also join a writer’s group and trade editing time with other writers. So, you’d read their book and give them notes and they could do the same on yours throughout various parts of your writing process.

Give yourself some writing assistance.

“If you're looking for extra guidance, companies like Storyworth and My Life In A Book  provide prompts that can help jog your memory and shape your narrative,” says Lanette Pottle, a transformation book coach and publishing mentor. Want more support? Companies like StoryTerrace, she says, go one step further and match you with a writer who interviews you and ghostwrites your book. “Alternatively, working with a book coach can provide a level of personal support that falls between these options – helping to draw out the stories you want to tell and offering support and accountability as you write,” adds Pottle. “The point is, if you want or need help, there are a variety of options available at varying price points. You don't have to do this alone.”

Look into your publishing options.

When it comes to publishing, there are several routes you can take. You can email your book to an agent. If someone connects with your work, they may help to shop it around to publishers for you. You can find agents by looking at memoirs from other authors you like and finding out who the agent is in the credits, then reaching out. You can google “how to find an agent” and find some great tips there or take a memoir writing class for guidance. You can also purchase a book like Writer’s Market, which provides a list of agents and their contact information based on the different genres that they represent.

You can also self-publish your book. “If you wish to publish independently so you can reach a broad audience beyond just family and friends, self-publishing platforms like Kindle Direct Publishing, Blurb, and Lulu offer the tools to publish and distribute your book with relative ease and accessibility,” says Pottle.