Emotional Coping Strategies to Help Handle Depression

About Nicole Pajer

Nicole Pajer is a Los Angeles-based freelance published in The New York Times, Woman's Day, AARP, Parade, Wired, Glamour, People and more.

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Are you struggling with depression? It’s a mental health condition that affects an estimated 21 million Americans. And research suggests that as many as 13.5% of the senior population may battle it at some point.

Depression can feel overwhelming and isolating, making it daunting to manage on your own. It can also be difficult to watch a loved one deal with this condition and not know how to lend a hand. But there are lifestyle steps that may help make symptoms feel more manageable. Here are 9 ways to support yourself or a friend or family member who is managing depression.

1. Ease into your day

“Depression pulls people toward stillness and isolation, which can make symptoms heavier,” explains Anita Webster, a psychotherapist at Inner Life Therapy in Katy, Texas. Having a simple plan for the morning and afternoon helps the nervous system feel anchored. Webster suggests setting one small task for each part of the day, such as starting a load of laundry, taking a short walk outside or calling a supportive friend. “Completion gives the brain a small burst of momentum and helps interrupt the sense of being stuck,” she says.

When everything feels overwhelming, divide tasks into pieces that take one or two minutes. Instead of cleaning the whole kitchen, start with putting one dish in the sink or wiping one section of the counter. “Success with small steps makes larger tasks feel less impossible,” says Webster. If you know someone dealing with depression, help them break tasks into smaller ones to help things feel more manageable.

2. Build in some healthy routines

“Creating small routines in your daily life that provide you with a sense of comfort can greatly improve your overall well-being,” says Kailia Hattis, founder of Pacific Coast Therapy in Santa Cruz and Campbell, California. Examples of this, she says, could be lighting a candle, cooking a meal with care or taking a walk along a familiar path. Maintaining these types of habits can help you feel safe and help the nervous system calm down. “These small steps assist in developing inner strength, allowing you to grow over time, as opposed to trying to make drastic changes right now,” adds Hattis.

3. Name your emotions

Depression comes with many feelings that can be overwhelming to manage. It can be hard to break down what you are feeling in the moment, but taking a moment to pause and identify your emotions can help. “When you name what you are feeling, you give your brain clarity instead of overwhelm,” says Webster. A simple sentence like “I feel sad and tired today” or “I feel anxious” activates the reasoning part of the brain and reduces the intensity of the emotion. “It also prevents the spiral of ‘what is wrong with me’ that depression tends to create,” says Webster.

It’s also important to remember that any emotions you are feeling are not wrong and you are not weak for having them. “Depression convinces people that they are failing,” says Webster. Encourage loved ones to respond to themselves the way they would speak to a friend. “A gentle phrase like ‘I am having a hard day, and I am doing my best’ reduces shame and makes it easier to take healthy actions,” she says.

4. Stay connected

Depression can feel isolating, which can be one of the hardest parts of the condition. Staying connected to others can help. “I encourage people to have a daily point of connection, even if it is short,” says Webster. This can be a text, a ten-minute call, sitting with someone while eating breakfast, or attending a support group. The goal, she says, is reminding the brain that you are not alone. If you’re feeling depressed, try to have someone on speed dial or a plan to shoot over a text, dial by phone or message via social media at some point throughout the day. And make a point of regularly checking with depressed loved ones. Just knowing you’re there and available for them can help them feel more connected.

5. Try this grounding exercise

When things begin to feel too heavy, taking a moment to immerse yourself into your environment can help. Try this exercise that licensed clinical social worker Lisa Franks swears by:

Name 5 things you can see.
Name 4 things you can feel (the chair against your back, your feet on the floor, the texture of your shirt).
Name 3 things you can hear.
Name 2 things you can smell.
Name 1 thing you can taste.

This, she says, forces your brain to step away from the spiraling and engage with your immediate senses.

6. Get moving

Studies show that exercise can help combat symptoms of depression. In fact, some research says it can be up to 1.5 times more effective at reducing depression than prescription medication. So when you’re feeling down, do your best to exercise. Find something that feels good, whether that’s a workout class, yoga, strength training or a spin on the elliptical. Not feeling the gym? Put your favorite song on and dance around your living room, go work outside in the garden or ask your neighbor to join you for a walk around the block.

7. Whip up a mocktail

Some people with depression are more prone to abusing alcohol as a way to cope. But alcohol acts as a depressant and overdoing it can make you feel worse, not to mention affect your sleep, which is important for maintaining a healthy brain. Cutting back on drinking doesn’t mean someone with depression has to miss out on the celebration. Support a loved one by crafting a fun mocktail for them to enjoy. One quick internet search will pair you with tons of recipes, like this easy citrusy mocktail. Combine grapefruit juice, orange juice and ¼ cup sparkling water for a refreshing drink.

8. Seek help

While there are things you can do at home to support depression, like eating a healthy diet and getting enough sleep, there are times when symptoms may be extra difficult to manage. In those cases, it might be beneficial to encourage a loved one to seek out the help of a licensed mental health therapist. There are also depression support groups people can attend, both virtually and locally in town. Use the search database at findtreatment.gov or thementalhealthcoalition.org/resources.

You can also offer yourself up as a support system to a loved one who is going through a bout of depression. Try to listen without judgement and offer love and encouragement. Sometimes having someone to talk to can go a long way. And if anyone is having thoughts of self-harm, encourage them to call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8.

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