Are You Prepared for Caregiving?

About Brookdale Senior Living

Brookdale Senior Living offers multiple care levels for seniors in more than 600 communities nationwide. Brookdale helps you find the right care plan for yourself or your loved one. With amenities such as transportation services, salons and private dining rooms and activities such as gardening, fitness classes and trivia nights Brookdale caters to a wide range of interests and needs.

If your aging parents are healthy and active, the idea of one day being their caregiver may not have even crossed your mind. Or perhaps you’ve seen a few changes in their health and lifestyle recently that have caused you to pause, but you dismiss your concerns with “I’ll know when it’s time,” or “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

As adult children, it’s natural to not always think about parents needing our care. After all, they’ve been a source of support for us for our entire lives, so it can be hard to imagine it any other way. But although your parents don’t yet need extra help, it could happen, and you likely will want to feel prepared if that moment comes.

The more you know ahead of time about your parents’ goals and wishes, and the more informed you are about caregiving, the easier it may be for you and your loved ones to navigate the shift into your different roles. Here, we’ll look at five key areas of caregiving preparation to help you consider how you can start implementing them into your life.

Timing

It’s never too early to start thinking and talking about caregiving. Not only does early preparation help you to know what to look for and anticipate, but it may give you more time to learn important information from your parents long before any decision-making becomes critical.

“We refer to this as ‘starting the conversation’ between parents and their adult children,” says Sara Terry, Senior Vice President of Resident and Family Engagement and Experience at Brookdale. “The earlier the better, given individual circumstances and family dynamics. Having these conversations helps ensure positive communication between parents and adult children and grandchildren, and allows parents to make their wishes and desires known.”

By starting these conversations early, learning as much as you can, and thinking through different scenarios for your family, you can help put yourself and your parents in a better position if or when caregiving for your parents becomes necessary.

Education

The simplest way to prepare for caregiving for seniors is to start educating yourself as much as possible.

You could begin by learning how to recognize physical and cognitive signs that may indicate that your parent needs some additional help. Then, you may want to familiarize yourself with the realities of caregiving and the kinds of responsibilities they may one day entail for you and your family. You may also want to look into your area’s local caregiver resources, such as respite care, senior living or caregiver support groups, and understand how and when you may be able to use them.

If you fear that your parent may be experiencing memory loss, you might want to begin learning what you can about dementia and dementia care, and make sure your information is coming from reputable sources, like a qualified physician, Brookdale, or the Alzheimer’s Association®.

Helpful Places if You Don’t Know Where to Start:

Communication

Starting conversations early is valuable, but knowing how to communicate with your parents and family members about caregiving can be just as, if not more, important.

It’s crucial for adult children to let their parents lead the way and make decisions for themselves. Too often, older adults can get drowned out in family conversations concerning their care, even though they’re the ones experiencing the most significant change.

“The goal is to keep the older adult at the center of your conversations and avoid ‘crisis’ decisions when possible,” Terry advises. If possible, “keep the lines of communication open and nonjudgmental, and refrain from jumping into role-reversal and telling parents what to do.”

Communication Resources from Brookdale:

Financial and Legal Considerations

Finances and legal matters are two very important aspects of older adult care, and the situation can look different for every family.

In some cases, parents who have worked and planned for years may already be in a strong financial position, with legal documentation already squared away. In your conversations with your parents, ask them about this and their plans for the future. They may not need or want assistance from you in these areas at all! But you generally should confirm if that is true rather than assuming it is the case. In other cases, of course, parents may benefit from some more guidance or support from their adult children.

Either way, as their potential caregiver, you’ll want to try to familiarize yourself with the following:

Your parents’ insurance coverage (if they have any), their retirement savings (if any), and their plans for financing future care or senior living, should they need it
The status of their living will (if they have one) and contact information for any financial or legal advisors they are working with
Medical power of attorney and financial power of attorney documents, which generally allow someone to make medical and financial decisions on your parents’ behalf if they become incapacitated
The purpose of the probate process in estate planning, and when it may be required according to your state’s rules
How you or other beneficiaries may be taxed on a trust inheritance

These topics might feel heavy at first, but it’s important to discuss them with your parents.

Families may find that opening up a dialogue about these matters can bring a sense of relief, preparedness and contentment for facing future unknowns. Getting everyone on the same page can help you work together to help your parents get the best care and have their wishes granted later on.

Other Resources for Seniors and Caregivers from Brookdale:

Building a Village

One thing you may quickly realize as you research caregiving is that it typically isn’t something that you can easily do alone. Nearly one-fifth of Americans are acting as unpaid caregivers for a loved one, and caregiver burnout is a real issue that many of them face. In fact, 37 percent of caregivers for adults report high burnout symptoms, including cognitive impairment, emotional impairment, exhaustion, and mental distance.

As part of your preparation, it’s important to start thinking about what your support network will look like. How often will your location and schedule allow you to check in on your parents? Are there other family members and friends nearby who would be able to help provide care if your parents are open to it? Will everyone in your support system be working full-time and/or caring for children? Will you likely need to hire outside help?

Caregiving often takes a village, and figuring out who is in that village can be part of those early conversations you start having with your family. Terry recommends playing to each individual’s strengths to form a solid collective. “Establish one family member or friend as the key partner for communication, one for financial skills, one for legal matters and so on,” Terry says. “Also, consider leveraging local expertise to support the older adults and adult children.”

Regardless of the level of care your parents may need, having the support of a reliable and compassionate community can potentially help to alleviate the stressors of caregiving and may allow you to spend more quality time together.

Support Resources Offered by Brookdale to Consider:

Other Support Resources that may help with Caregiving

Are You Prepared?

Remember, family caregiving starts with a conversation, and it’s never too early to begin those talks. The more you know before your parents need extra help, the smoother it may be for them, you and the rest of the family to transition into your new roles when the time for caregiving arrives.

^{The above content is shared for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional, financial, or legal advice and should not be relied upon for making financial, legal, or other decisions. Please consult your financial advisor or attorney before acting on any content on this website.}